you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize