I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
