Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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