i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
