im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize