I want to walk on stilts...naked
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
