Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
