I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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