You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
