think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
