How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
