yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
