Can Purell be used as lube?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize