You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize