chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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