i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize