I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I see more hoeing in ur future
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