I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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