I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So many bounce houses so little time
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
