But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
