I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
