tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
time to smoke my breakfast
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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