I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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