Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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