We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
