if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
