Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
