oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
