anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
