I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
