It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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