I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
