I want to have your abortion
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize