dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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