Dual....:-)
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
