i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
