Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize