this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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