i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
