did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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