he thought i was a dude.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize