I didn't shave. On purpose
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
