Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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