The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
