You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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