Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
