Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
