It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
