Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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