I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
