Welp...herpes.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
