tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
