Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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