Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
