Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
