Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
