Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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