do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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