This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
