its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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