your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
