i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
