I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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