Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
