every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
sex in a hospital.. check
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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