thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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