i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
