So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
