I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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