need another drink. this is the easiest way
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
