no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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